Welcome to Reality

My little sister, who is not really little, she's 24 now and towers over my midget ass, anyway, she called me up the other day all upset because her friend might be moving 18 hours away. I was kind of shocked she still has this dream going on for her.... that your friends stay your friends forever. I told her, " you know, I had my two closest girlfriends (and my sister of course) be my brides maids for my wedding 2 years ago.... you know how many times I've seen Sara?" "no," she responds. "Twice...you know how many times i've seen Amy?" again, "no." "Once. I get to talk to Sara if I'm lucky, once every 2-3 months, and Amy, I basically haven't heard a peep from. In two years! They are less than a 2 hour drive away from me. Amy doesn't know my daughter's name and I don't even know if she knows I'm pregnant again. People get busy. Welcome to reality." Apparently this wasn't very comforting for either of us. I pretty much realized at that instant that I absolutely detest this growing up garbage....I  still have a glimmer of hope that some friends will always be your friends but those are unfortunately few and far between.

New Slideshow

Another week has come and gone

I love and hate how time goes by. It seems like "Click" in real life to me. You want all the shitty stuff to hurry up and get out of the way but then you sit back and wonder how the hell you missed this and that. Its depressing. I whine that it needs to be payday or so and so needs to get here for their kid before I go crawl into bed and cry from being stressed out so bad and then on days like today I realize I'm now 27 and my daughter is 2. This happened within the last 3 days! I remember my 16th birthday like it was yesterday and basically none of the birthdays after that...at least until my 21st (sucked), 25th (had my daughter 2 days prior and finally got to leave the hospital) and this year the big 27, well it was yesterday...and for a few more days at least, I'll remember this birthday.......its just everything seems so fake. Like I'm still only 16 and I apparently became "one of those girls" (which explains the 2 year old and fetus) in my mind.  I just wish I could pause. At least pause her, even just slow things down a bit. I definatly want all the shitty stuff to hurry and go but I want to be able to watch SLOWLY as my little girl grows and changes. Same with the newest member when s/he joins our family on the outside. I just wish they didn't grow so fast

Week 18

These days, when your heart beats, your little baby may be able to hear it! With the bones and nerves in his ears developed enough to function, he can now hear all sorts of sounds -- from blood coursing through the umbilical cord to the rumblings of your hungry tummy. Over the next few weeks, he'll be able to detect voices and music outside the womb as well, so it's time to bust out the books and practice your storytelling skills! Your baby's growing into one smart cookie as his brain continues to differentiate into specialized regions. He may even exhibit primitive reflexes in utero -- such as recoiling when startled by a loud noise.

Courtesy of Parents.com

How do you say "No" to this face?

  



 

How is it that two years have passed me by so quickly?  Instead of the Staples Easy button, I need an Ashtyn Pause button.

TFGIFFF

Soooo.... I actually did write this on Friday......I was however interupted and never posted this bitchfest for viewing. Enjoy. 

Wow! Another week finally over.  I take care of a few kids all day (as well as my own) and I'm just burned out this week. Between saying goodbye to one family and hello to another family, a screaming infant who has some ailment at all times it seems, my two year old daughter getting mad because one of the boys (1 year older than her.....and can not speak which adds to my already stressful days) just took her toy from her and now she's more upset because I put her in time out for pulling the kids hair and taking the toy back, workshops that seem to go all night, being pregnant (which brings on "my mood" and having to balance all the above with paying the bills, being the dutiful wife, etc etc and wondering "when the hell is it my turn". Maybe I want to be a part time parent for a week. I haven't had a day off since this time last year when (thank God for awesome relatives) my inlaws took my husband and I on a vacation to Mexico for a week. Granted I love my daughter more than anything but I would really love to just be able to wake up tomorrow and say to myself I guess I'll ride my motorcycle today. And not have to go through the hell of finding someone to watch her while I go out. I'm crazy I don't know. I sometimes just wish I was like other parents I deal with who can just give their kid away for the day and go to work or do whatever while they tell me they're working. I can't just give my kid to anyone. I'm totally nuts like that but I would definitely love to have that ability for the day. Something. I just need a nap and hot bath. Silence. Uninterrupted silence. No "Mommy, I want", "mine", late parents, extra children or children at all. Just me. Doing absolutely nothing but appreciating the pure joy of not having to do a dam thing! Just being at my own beck and call. At least its Friday. 2 whole days to come of just dealing with my family. That I fear is the closest thing to a vacation as I'll be seeing until probably this time next year :( Oh the joys of it all.

Here's another go at the pics

So I'm definatly alot slower at this than I expected. I will ge the hang of it eventually but you'll just have to bear with me. So my outhouse and camp pics didn't go up as planned....they're there...just not as I wished... so here's a second attempt with pics of my little ones. 

 

ME ME ME

So...I guess I'll start of this chaos with a "real" post or at least I'll give it another go anyway. I kidnapped this questionaire from Jolene's blog.....

Three names you go by:

1. Nina

2. Mommy

3. Ashtyn's Mom

Three physical things I like about myself:

1. I can't

2.think

3. of any

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:

1. My hair

2. My eyebrows that like to think they should be one

3. I guess 2 is enough

Three parts of your heritage

1. French

2. Indian

3. More french

Three things you can't stand

1. Jerks who drive super slow until a passing lane then they speed up and slow back down once its 'no passing' again

2. Waiting

3. All the kids whine cry or scream at once

Three things that scare me

1. Drowning

2. Being chased

3. Noises at night

Three of my favorite shows:

1. Heros

2. Lost

3. Anything that has to do with fixing up a house

Three favorite current songs

1. If its

2. new, I

3. don't like it

Three movies I watch over and over

1. High Fidelity

2. Moulin Rouge

3. Shrek 1-3

Three movies I would like to see

1. Juno

2. Don't

3. Know

Three everyday essentials

1. Coffee

2. French Vanilla CoffeeMate

3. Pepsi

Three things I'm wearing right now

1. Blue Jeans

2. Bike Week Laconia 97 tshirt

3. socks

Three things you want in a relationship

1. Trust

2. Love

3. QUALITY time

Three physical things about the opposite gender that appeal to you

1. Eyes

2. Teeth/ smile

3. JOB.....um..... weighs more than me

Three bad habits

1. swearing

2. smoking

3. bitching

Three careers you are currently considering persuing

1. I'm a stay at home mom

2. with another one on the way

3. I'm not persuing anything outside this house

Three favorite hobbies

1. Scrapbooking

2. Reading

3. Riding something (stop laughing sicko...my Harley, ATV or dirtbike)

Three places I'd like to go to on vacation

1. Any of the 12 states I have yet to visit

2. Any of the (I think) 6 other continents I have yet to visit

3. Anywhere warm and NOT IN NEW ENGLAND

Three kids names I like

1. Ashtyn Ora

2. Anndrew Jane

3. Ezekiel (Zeke) Drew

Three things to do befor I die

1. Watch my grandchildren get married

2. Go on a cruise

3. See the Northern lights in Alaska

Three things that stereotypically prove I'm a girl

1. ummm....I wear dresses (occasionally)

2.....I wear makeup (once every 2-3 years)

3. I wear pink

Initials of three crushes

1. MK (1997)

2. JC (1999)

3. JH (2001-current)

 

SO there's a million things about me me me me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Manic Monday

I'm still trying to figure this whole thing out. If this worked there should be a picture of camp and one of the outhouse as per request....auntie :)